birth control

This weekend, I ventured to the glorious Tidewater area of Virginia, for my cousin’s 8th birthday party.

Whoa Nellie.

There were 15 (including my two cousins, M&S, who, because of their initials, I will refer to as Marks and Sparks) SCREAMING little girls running around my aunt and uncle’s house. FIFTEEN.

I am not a fan of children. I make an exception for M&S. But that is the ONLY exception (much to my other uncle’s chagrin.) But, duty calls, and I do adore M&S. Their mom was my “other mommy” for much of my formative years, and I think of them as my little sisters or nieces more so than as cousins.

The party began with decorating goodie bags. Which, with 15 little girls, involves a LOT of glitter glue. Glitter glue does not dry within the 2 hours period of the average birthday party, which led to a lot of Gumby-like moves from me to keep from looking like I fell into a bedazzler.
The girls did a bang-up job decorating though, and moved on to freeze dance, which is exactly what it sounds like- freeze tag, but with dancing in lieu of running. They played bingo, sang karaoke (Sparks blew it UP,) and ran around the house screaming. And screaming. And running. And then screaming some more.

Around 3:30, it was time for the pièce de résistance– birthday cake! My aunt, in her glorious, glorious foresight, had arranged for a cupcake cake, eliminating the need for slicing and plates, along with individual Kool-Aid Koolers (or whatever the hell they’re called), and individual strawberry and vanilla or chocolate and vanilla ice cream cups. All of this made for a much, much easier high fructose corn syrup delivery system for the gremlins lovely little girls.

The cake was in the shape of a giant flower, with Tinkerbell perched in the middle.
I believe the frosting to cupcake ratio was about 1:1, which works perfectly for M&S. Marks eats the cupcake, and Sparks only eats the frosting.

All and all, I’d like to thank my aunt for the second most effective advertisement for birth control I’ve ever seen. The first one involved a visit to her doctor towards the end of her pregnancy with Sparks, and is too traumatic of an experience to explain without the aid of alcohol.

Happy Birthday Marks!

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One response to “birth control

  1. i’m jealous, and very VERY happy about not being there, that you got to go to Marks birthday party. Marks and Sparks = the coolest little girls since you and i

    15 screaming little girls + LOTS of sugar = a homicidal atom
    (hints why i’m glad i was absent and why i haven’t experienced AL’s birth control techniques– EEK!)

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